frankly speaking

i am angry, disappointed, dull and bitter.
yea, sure, it's all part of life. it could just urge me a bit less and i really don't think the world's pain has lost something in the very consciousness of me to linger there for ages.

i am tired of being the aftermath of some abortive attempt to construct new world order. wearing a "born in the ussr" sign wouldn't really make anyone understand that all the post-soviet kids are somewhat soul-broken. that catching up with europe in 20 years has been a rushed and superficial plan. that this country with its 1,5 million "nationals" left is a pitiful invertebrate.
so what. since when does being born in a revolution mean a constant struggle from that day on? couldn't i just care less as so many others? turns out i can't. and i love what i do, and it does feel like the right thing to do. one can always look at the glass as half full and not half empty. one can always give, share and care.
these times happen. when you see what you've built collapses, what you've invested vanishes and the ones you did it for (or with) don't really care. sure, i've had my fun, my valuable experience and everything i've gained personally. fine. but it's not about me.

it's all such a long way to go. i know.
and i'm ok with it.
i'm just angry, disappointed, dull and bitter. at times like these.
swing life away - rise against 
(oh and this time - do pay attention to the lyrics)


for God's sake, i'll be going to the mountains!