I find the most awkward ways for supplying adrenalin to my own self.
Let's rule out the little-too-risky driving, the challenges I jump at and the of-course-I'll-do-this-as-I've-never-done-this before cases. I mean the real deal now, the one that's been eating me for years and years, the one that pushes me beyond limits of human possibilities and, once we're at it, beyond all reason.
It's the risk of being so close to something dear / wanted / desired / worked for / important, and always holding on to the chance (!?) of loosing it all. It's hilarious. No, really, if you look at the details.. it's hilarious. With a few missing lines, a late phone call, a lost response, I all of a sudden put all my eggs in one basket, and on a risky card (also my future, and quite a lot of money added to the eggs). For the sake of adrenalin!?
I do feel ashamed now. As if my life had become as boring an office life that I would need such extreme measures to bring some excitement in. Has it? Have I?
Geeez, I want to climb a tree, dance for an hour and bury myself in sand on the coast of the Mediterranean. All for the sake of sleeping a night out in a tent, scratching my legs on edgy thick forest walks, and lighting up a camp-fire. I had no idea I missed it so much.
Heavens, have mercy.
Let's rule out the little-too-risky driving, the challenges I jump at and the of-course-I'll-do-this-as-I've-never-done-this before cases. I mean the real deal now, the one that's been eating me for years and years, the one that pushes me beyond limits of human possibilities and, once we're at it, beyond all reason.
It's the risk of being so close to something dear / wanted / desired / worked for / important, and always holding on to the chance (!?) of loosing it all. It's hilarious. No, really, if you look at the details.. it's hilarious. With a few missing lines, a late phone call, a lost response, I all of a sudden put all my eggs in one basket, and on a risky card (also my future, and quite a lot of money added to the eggs). For the sake of adrenalin!?
I do feel ashamed now. As if my life had become as boring an office life that I would need such extreme measures to bring some excitement in. Has it? Have I?
Geeez, I want to climb a tree, dance for an hour and bury myself in sand on the coast of the Mediterranean. All for the sake of sleeping a night out in a tent, scratching my legs on edgy thick forest walks, and lighting up a camp-fire. I had no idea I missed it so much.
Heavens, have mercy.
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