kill my idols

kill your idols

if there was ever a time i could understand what this graffiti is saying it should be tonight.
i've been passing it by for 5 years already, quite often. and it has made me think a few times, especially when driving home from academy with that idle brain all filling up the head and that look loosing itself somewhere out of the window. and i thought it couldn't be true, cause people need idols, they need idols so very much that it would be hard to get on without them. in one way or another they motivate people to try, to become better, to strive for.. something more. that's what i thought.
but then there are those idols that are actually more like a pain in the ass. they are still your idols and you kind of look up to them. and you kind of want to get closer to them. well, mostly in a metaphorical way, although very often also in the realistic and physical way just that it seems too childish to admit it. and then. you try and you do get better and you strive for that something and.. you can't get a damn inch closer to that idol. ok, well, maybe the time's not right or something.. ok, you still can wait and try harder. and so you do. and so it doesn't work anyway. and you start to feel disappointed in yourself. you may start to feel disappointed in your idol. but it's still there and it's big and shiny and standing tall. you just can't take your eyes off it. but let's be honest.. nothing really changes. nor with the months, nor years.. and you start to hate yourself a bit for this. and you long for getting rid of that admiration of that stupid idol. after all, it, too, has its shadow sides and it might get rusty. ahh, wouldn't it be better if it had never ever been there? but once you can't make it undone.. yea, well, why couldn't it just die? i mean.. ok, rather in a metaphorical way but still.. life would be much more easier and lighter. good. decision made.

now freaking how do you do to kill an idol?

resume. (himym - knowers will understand this better)
1. nothing good ever happens after 2 am
2. don't expect anything good to happen after 2 am
3. if you think that something that happened after 2 am was good, rethink it
4. be a true buddhist and never get attached to anything and anyone
5. if you see i've once again posted something after 2 am.. whatever, there won't be much sense anyway..